So... a little bit of stress has been released off my shoulders. Yesterday night, I bit the bullet, and dropped a course from my schedule. On one hand it sucks, because its a mandatory course for my program and I'm eventually going to have to take it. But on the other hand its great, because I get mondays off... A study/work/ go see J day, since Fridays are always packed.. usually with going to see J, I have less work/ less stress.. more time, and I may not even finish school where I am at anyways.. So... For the time being, its ok with me. I also finished that paper... IT took me TWO days to do it. But I managed to hand it in electronically 3 minutes before it was too late.. thank GOD. So, since theres no school tomorrow, I plan to lounge (just for tonight!) and rest. And then tomorrow, rack my brain like crazy. Acutally... scrap that plan. I'm going to start on my assignment thats due on tuesday, so that I can have maximum studying time for my exam thats on the same day. University life sucks. And it sucks x452 when you are unhappy at the school you are at. I'm really starting to consider switching schools. Right now, my mind is on 2 particular schools which are relatively in the same area. I'm really going to have to pray about it, because I can't continue on at UTM.... IT sucks assssssssss. But, at the same time, a part what is making me unhappy (mainly loneliness) cannot and will not be solved by me moving away. So while I may go to another school, and love the program/courses, at nights, when I'm in my apartment... I'll still be lonely, because no one will be there. And that, will tear me apart. Because then, I won't be at home. I won't be able to just get on the train, and go be with J. I can't just pick up the phone and call either of my closest girls. It really will be just. Me. So, its a serious decision that I can't just take as a grain of rice... Even with all of that, something is calling my heart to it. Its almost like a part of me knows that this is the direction that I'm supposed to be headed in... this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I still need to pray about it... Repent and pray. AHhh but until then, I'm off to immerse myself in post-secondary studies..Well that and off to take some pictures of me:) I need to be documenting myself as I am getting older..
P.S. This weekend is valentines. J will be out of this country. I'm sooo disappointed. Last year, our valentines, started off proper and ended off flop. Now, it was last year, its in the past, it already happened, so I'm over it. But I'm sad that I won't be having one again with him this year. I know Valentines is menial, and really and truly has no meaning. But for one time, I just want to have a bomb valentines. I had wanted to spend the day before he left, with him... But in the evening he has to work.. So we would be chilling.. at his school... Umm. Not cool. If things are going to be romantic and special (lol that sounds corny), then I don't want to end up spending my time with people I don't know... Even though, I'll be going to a Valentines banquet on Friday.. J won't be here, so its not Valentines without him..
P.P.S.
I just popped up on someones page.. and tootttallly forgot about this song. I love nostaglic songs. Remember when Spice Girls ruled the WORLDD? Lol this video alwayss used to make me feel sad when I was a kid, now it brings back memories with a smile.. I miss my 90's childhood!
No comments:
Post a Comment