Dec 31. 2008 3:29 pm

So last night Dad came home from Jamaica.. and he brought some Red Label wine.. now, I am not a drinker, so it was pretty much my first time drinking...lol I think I drank too much..As soon as I woke up this morning.. I was like.. my Goshh... why do I feel so weird ? lol...it wasn't until mom came in laughing about me having a hang over, that I really thought about it. I feel weird..
But my thought for today is centered on the question/thought of why Women will find the need to complain/rant so much, but guys don't. Now, reading over my past entries this is definately a problem that I have, and will willingly admit. But as time passes by, and I start to realize the lack of neccessity for it.. I wonder why women really even do it. Now, it doesn't necessarily mean, that we don't care about whatever the situation is. But, it just seems that girls know how to cross that invisible thin line. To where like, just talking about a situation or re-capping, turns into fulll outtt blahh blahhh blahhh complaining.. I can see why guys, don't like it. Looking back over some of the conversations that I had with people, concerning issues that were going on in my relationship, I definately should have adopted the phrase that states that silence is golden. That will definately be a resolution that I should make for the upcoming year. No matter what the situation is, or who the situation is with. If it can fit into the category of complaining, it needn't be done. I really want to be able to just talk about a situation, and most importantly, be be to have a civil conversation with the person it includes first. As opposed to complaining to friends or even family. And if that cannot be done, then I'll have to either write about it, or wait until it can be dealt with. The complaining thing has gotten old for me. Its now 4:40, and I'm still feeling weird.

Dec 25 : 2.04 pm.

Even though to me, it REALLY doesn't feel like Christmas, Merry Christmas to all :)

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Kenny G

Also..

I decided, that I am definately going to have to add visuals to my little space here.. I think some stimulus is needed...for mental stimulation lol...Goodnight World.

December 24th. 2008. 1:34

Its' been a while since I last posted. A lot of shit has happened since then. A lot of lessons learned? Maybe.. A lot of life lived?...Maybe not. Even though, I haven't posted since October, I've still been writing habitually. Don't know if I could live, and not write..its become a great part of me now. Lol, I find myself wondering what I was doing withOUT it before... Anywho, reading over the entries of times past.. way too many of them have to do with the same person. The same person, who in all truth, does not deserve that kind of attention. Yes, he had an integral part of in my life. But thats exactly what he had. A PART in my life. He was not my entire life. I won't be living like that anymore. Ironically though, I will post something that will seem to have to do with him, I will not be going into this upcoming year, with my focus and energy, regardless of whether it be positive or negative, concentrated on one person, unless it is me. Anyways, wrote this earlier. Alicia Keys' Troubles, was the song I played while I wrote it.

Update December 28th 4:15 am..

I had a poem I guess you could call it that I had written during a sad emotional episode earlier this week, that stemmed from a situation that happened with Him. He doesn't deserve that kind of emotional dedication, so I removed this piece. It just wasn't right for my mind to have been in that kind of state. I haved it saved somewhere here.. But publicy? He won't recieve any kind of indirect of direct attenion from me. The live version of Troubles by AKeys as shown below is a favourite of mine though, so that stays:)