What I Really Meant Was,

"Up and down, up and down go my emotions. Lol maybe I'm bi-polar. I dont know. Is this how love is? A little confusing, ever complicated? My posts are evidence to the fact that my emotions can go from angry to heads over heels in love, in one night. Now, I can explain and pin point WHY this happens, but HOW is still a mystery."


I really have to work on my communication skills! I wrote this some time in August, and reading it over again, I realize that I'm sending out a msg that really contradicts most of the things that I say on here... Lol as if anyone is reading it anyways... but, "here" is for me anyways.. so w.e... But, in this little paragraph, my words had meanings that I realize can only be really understood if I were to openly have a conversation about someone about these things. So, that being said, I'll do some editing right now. I meant to say how I feel.
"I feel love. I feel its warmth, its beauty, its comfort. I feel it in my heart, and deep in my being. I get angry sometimes, I'm really happy sometimes, I get hurt sometimes, and feel wonderful at others, but I am never cold, never ugly, and never lonley, because it doesn't leave. I don't think that love is an emotion. Emotions change, love is constant. Should be tested, but if its real, how can it waver? Confusion comes with emotions bombarding a mind. Truth and sureity come with reallness. And can love really be anything except for real? For if its not real, then can it really be love? I doubt it. Unless, its taken and broken, which is another patch of roses, all together. The work for us all, that we too often skip over, is determining the reality of the love that claim to feel so strongly. Its my first time being in love, but I'm learning as I go along. Learning about myself, learning about you, learning about human connections, learning about relationships, learning about love."

I may get hurt, and get angry, and show my emotion (as the person that I am cannot hold it in) but know that I love you, know that I am in love with you, and know that through my emotion, I am still loving you.