Trust.

This week has been a really rough patch for us. It was the first time that I was feeling some of the emotions that I felt this week since we got together. They weren't feelings of anger or anything like it, but they definately weren't good ones. It was such a hard week. But, today as I realized that enough was enough and that it was time to do away with the whole situation, I decided that from now on I was going to do away with negative thinking. Me thinking negatively caused me a great deal of disturbance this week. So I'm not going to do it anymore. Whatever happens, is going to happen. If anything is going on in the dark, it will come out in the light. I am going to make a strong effort to stop thinking about all the what if's that could be happening, and trust my boyfriend. Trust him wholeheartedly. Trust him with more than just not talking to other girls. Trust him that he won't hurt me. Trust him that he will be there. Trust him when he tells me how he feels about me. Trust him to love me. Trust him to be real with me. I am just going to trust. Now, I realize that I could risk me getting burned, but really, its time for me to do away with my self-esteem issues and my overpowering doubts. I am going to trust. I refuse to let myself ruin this relationship. We have our problems, and we both bring some issues to the table, but I can't let something that is really so minimal to destroy the relationship with someone that I have grown to love. With a love that has transformed and matured me so much. There is no way. Let's keep working J, we can only reach there together.