Its hard. Really hard. To stay on the straight and narrow. Today really wasn't a good day for me in this regard. The saying 'bad habits die hard' is truth. Especially when they are habits that are old. Old+Bad= Lethal Combination. So here I am tonight. Feeling slightly tired, with my bad habits nagging at me like some kind of nasty pest. Its a love/hate relationship that I have with this "habit". Its bittersweet just like Kanye said. I love you and hate you at the very same time. And the sad thing is, I really can't shake it. And if I were to say that I actually want to, might be more than a little white lie. Which within itself is spiritually dangerous. Maybe even spiritual suicide, as it indicates that a part of me, just doesn't want to let go, despite of its detriment to me.
So right now, I don't know what to do. Because I don't feel as if I can approach God right now, because repentance and regret are two different things. Not synonyms. Plus, this "habit" isn't something that I think I can let go of. Which, I must say that I hate because its killing me. I don't know what I'm going to do.